I finished the Cleanse; Writing the Update Post...but in the Meantime, Here's George Takei and I. What.

so, i've been SLAMMED at work this week with, among other things, preparing to support an amazing documentary we will be airing on October 27th called Bridegroom. (if you are interested, watch the trailer here). as a part of this preparation i got to go to the premiere last night, and i met none other than George Takei, Mr. Sulu himself! Those of you who know my blog before i started writing about my cleanse know what a Trekkie i am. with this photo, i basically win the internet, IMHO:

George Takei and I at the Bridegroom premiere! 

my lunch today-thank you, Farmer's Market+fridge leftovers! Tasty & healthy.

Just wanted to share those two things with you and i promise that tonight i will finish one of the series of cleanse wrap-up and post-cleanse food head-games blogs that i have drafted. trust me, it's a doozy!! hint: i made it 13.5 days out of a 14 day cleanse. it all ended with a chicken apple sausage pretzel roll on sunday night. don't judge!! 

check back soon!!

ONE DAY LEFT! I survived Costco. And List of Side Effects. Day 13: The Skinny on the Cleanse

...to celebrate 2 weeks of cleansing being OVER, bizzles! 1 more day!

so. i have made it nearly 2 weeks. the end is nigh, and i'm so pleased that i stuck with it! sorry this blog is going up a bit late...i needed to do some non-cleanse related today, so i went to Costco with a friend/co-worker who needed to use my card for a party he is throwing (translation=#booze). i have to say that i'm really proud of myself for successfully avoiding my BIGGEST downfall at Costco. no, it's not all the little free food stations (which i avoided as well!). it's the cheese and tortilla aisle. they have these amazing uncooked flour tortillas-totally fresh and you have to refrigerate them-which i will eat like the whole pack of raw. i'm not even kidding. as i toyed with the idea of getting them, in my head was something that Chef Kelly said in one of her recent emails: if it's not in the house, you can't eat it.

and simple is as simple does...i didn't buy it. and guess what? now i can't eat it. (but damn, they are REALLY GOOD tortillas).

i did eat one (ok 3) raspberries because i had to make sure the batch i was buying was sweet. and when they hit my tongue, it was like a bright, fresh, pop rock. only natural. it was SO sweet i couldn't believe it! that's what no sugar will do to you for 2 weeks.

ok so for today's blog, here's a hodge-podge of stuff about the cleanse that i keep meaning to relay to y'all, i'm sure some things will be left out so i will add to Sunday's blog as i remember:

Recap of the daily/weekly structure of the cleanse+Options:

-i won the 2 week cleanse from Pureed Love, but you can also opt for a 1 week version.

-Chef Kelly recommends the 2 week version if you can afford it (i would recommend that one too) because it just feels like you need to allow your body to cycle through it twice in order to feel the fullest benefits. but, even just 1 week will do you wonders. remember that i lost 7.5 lbs by the end of week 1, so there are actually LOTS of benefits!
-you pick your purees and then also solid protein preferences before you begin the cleanse
-you get 5 purees a day for Monday & Tuesday, and then from Weds-Sunday you eliminate your least favorite puree (chef Kelly will ask you about that on Tuesday) and you get a solid meal instead.
-you eat every 2-3 hours. no exceptions.
-you may still have your coffee and tea and occasional glass of champs.
-otherwise, no exceptions. you ONLY eat the food they deliver to you 3x a week. (i had mine delivered to work)

Hodge Podge of Observations on Cleanse Effects on My Body:

Nails:

-my nails are usually really thin and weak. since i've been doing the cleanse, i notice that they have gotten stronger and been growing quickly; something i wasn't expecting and wasn't even looking for. i just happened to notice when i scratched myself on my face by accident the other day like one of those newborn babies. (you know the ones where they put the tiny mittens on their hands when they come home so they don't scratch their faces like i did? yeah just like that.)

Gas:

-i was legit concerned that this cleanse would give me gas, but i have to say that besides a few days towards the end when i started getting the salads/raw fiber protein dishes, it was all pretty calm down south

Bathroom Time:
-i was worried that i'd have upset stomach OR the opposite, complete blockage, but i was VERY regular, if not more regular, than usual. i thought i was going to have to take a laxative tea to help move this along, but i couldn't have been more wrong.

Sleep:
-i had a bit of trouble really sleeping, so i have to admit that i upped my regular sleeping meds a bit. (i'm just naturally really high strung, so i need help sleeping. sometimes i use melatonin, sometimes (most of the time) xanax, and sometimes an herbal alternative (you do the math). since my body was so clean and clear, and because i tend to be a night snacker (not to be confused with the night stalker, who terrorized Los Angeles in the 80's and was a serial killer), i was going to bed earlier to minimize the chances of finding myself wandering wantonly around in the kitchen at midnight each night.
-so it took me a bit to actually get to sleep, and i slept lighter than normal, but felt like i still got a good night's sleep each day, and tended to wake up naturally earlier than normal on my own.

Back Pain:
-miraculously, my severe back pain that is pretty much chronic/constant, the result of a severe herniated disc that i suffered when i was in my early 20's, has been SO MUCH BETTER. i can't explain that one. i haven't been working out at all (just walking the dog that i'm dog-sitting, which is more than i have been doing normally for a while)

Exercise:
-quick note: i can NEVER spell that word right, despite my best efforts. NEVER. maybe if i actually engaged in the action of exercising, it would be easier to spell? hmmm...
-since the cleanse states to not work out or to take it very lightly if you do, i took this as a full, free pass to actually not work out with a very good reason. god bless that part of the guidelines.

Caffeine:
-since i had overall less energy than normal (though when i was awake and alert i was VERY awake and alert-it was refreshing), i tended to drink more coffee than normal. usually i do 1 cup of coffee with vanilla soy creamer in the morning, or a double shot of expresso with soy creamer, and then drink tea all day long. during the last 2 weeks i've done like 2-3 cups of coffee a day, and still tea all day as well. it didn't affect me one way or the other...just helped me feel more normal.

last day tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! till then....

(UPDATED. I Did NOT Have a Taco!) I Had Vodka, You Guys. And I'm a CHEAP DATE! Day 12

---EOD REPORT+FINAL TALLY---

this afternoon, one of my co-workers who is also a friend and whom i love (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, TAMMIE! ;) came over to me and was like "OMG did you SEE what is in the KITCHEN?!" and i was like "no!!!", and "that was on purpose!" whatever it is, I CAN'T EAT IT! and she was like "but you have to support meeeee!! we have to stick together!" and i was like "ok ok ok you are right! you have been supporting me in my cleanse, i will go LOOK at what is in the kitchen with you." i'm strong, right?

so i went in the kitchen and come to find that some mystery meanie awesome person had left EVERYTHING for make your own tacos. i'm talkin' chicken meat (white meat, hand cut), beef (again, chunky beef, hand cut), onions, cilantro, limes, cheese, beans, rice....EVERYTHING. all in these neat little containers. let me tell you something...

I HEART TACOS. especially make-your-own tacos. taco night is infamous in my house, always has been. it's a great way to make a group dinner when friends come over, or great for a mid-week dinner with you and your bestie or lover or partner.

anyways, while my co-worker (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, TAMMIE! :) tasted the beef and we discussed how, if you avoid the tortilla, it's basically a healthy bowl of homemade goodness, (#girleconomics) we surveyed the landscape. and i am so proud of myself...i did not take even ONE BITE of any of the spoils before me. which sort of looked like this:

with that hurdle cleared (her tasting and me avoiding tasting), we were surveying what of the leftovers was suitable bag-it-up-to-take-home goods. again, i feel triumphant in this moment, because i did something that satiated me, yet allowed me to keep my word to myself and my diet. i took a ziplock bag, put a generous amount of cilantro (which i LOVE) and some beautiful lime wedges in it, and put it in the fridge with my LAST 3 DAYS' (WOOT) worth of cleanse food. 

when i got home tonight, i had my dinner (seared scallops and a hearty salad), and then when it was time for my final puree of the day (sweet pea, in case you are curious), i took some cilantro out, put it into the soup bowl, squeezed some fresh lime on top, and BAM! i felt like i had gotten my (free) money's worth of food from work. i didn't feel like i was "missing out" on anything just because i wasn't eating the tacos. 

in fact, i felt proud of myself for coming up with a creative, non-caloric and non-cheating-on-my-cleanse solution to free food being offered up at work (a situation that i know we ALL find hard to resist. we somehow talk ourselves out of whatever our normal eating habits are when there is free food involved...even if that food is not something we are craving, or even if it's something that we don't particularly love. what is up with that? #foodnoise, that's what. that's for another day).

so that's my story of the day. i feel like it was a strong finish to the end of a rather difficult yet successful work week. i feel that things are starting to fall into place for me, and this is just the beginning. i'm excited to blog this weekend about some bigger picture and summary thoughts about this life-altering cleanse, and also about the little nuances of it. i've officially made it 12 days as of today, and that is pretty awesome, if i do say so myself.

FINAL EOD TALLY:

-LBS LOST: 10
-NUMBER OF TACOS EATEN: 0
-NUMBER OF TIMES YOU WILL SEE A DANCING TACO ON MY BLOG: this probably isn't the last.

---MORNING REPORT---

so last night, try as i might to find champs at the Henry Fonda theatre, the closest thing i could find was this:

grey goose and soda with a few limes. what?

but when you are seeing this:

Stereophonics. #RockAndRollBaby.

and haven't eaten all of your soup purees, and the band didn't go on until 10 pm, and you all of a sudden feel REALLY old for the first time, a vodka+soda+3 limes is definitely in order.

and let me tell you, i was a CHEAP DATE!!! i took like 3 sips of my cocktail, and i was instantly buzzed. it was so funny! i had to sip it slowly, and then after i drank it, i was totally buzzed, and then like 2 hrs later i had a headache already. HA! my, how things change.

the concert was great, but man was i tired. it's hard enough on a "school night" to go out these days, and it was even harder given my cleansing state currently. but i made it! the concert was great, and i hit another milestone in being able to avoid the street hot dogs outside the theatre on Hollywood Blvd. at midnight last night.

this morning's weight loss tally is still the same (i reckon the alcohol bloated me up a bit too), and i got my FINAL food delivery today from Chef Kelly. we had a great chat about how she is going to help me understand how to continue this new way of eating on my own after Sunday. i CAN NOT WAIT to go to Trader Joe's and go grocery shopping this sunday! I CAN'T WAIT! i've saved so much money not shopping or going out to eat, it's insane. (i did win this cleanse, remember, so it's been free for me, but it is a good amount of money if you are paying for it. but i think that with 5 organic meals a day for 2 weeks, i'd still be saving money even if i was paying for it. #girleconomics.

so tonight, tomorrow and sunday i will be blogging about all of the details you guys have been asking me about privately. specifics about the food, cleanse, effects, etc. it will give a good overview/wrap up of all of the goods, so help me get through my last 3 days! thanks again for continuing to support me on this journey. cheesy as it sounds, i'm a changed woman. 

Day 11: 10 LBS Lost, Going to a Concert Tonight - #Stereophonics

first off, i'm going to a concert tonight. to see the Stereophonics, one of my favorite bands. if you don't know who they are, please make an effort to find out-they are SO worth it! here's a first step:

what a voice, eh? glorious.

so i'm super excited to go to this concert, however i'm a tad trepidatious. (is that even the correct tense/use of that word?). the reason i'm apprehensive (that's better) is that as i said in a previous post, i've been taking the whole social plans thing easy during this two week cleanse period because it's just better/easier that way. not only because it's easier to be away from temptation or being reminded of what you CAN'T have, and because i get more tired than usual because i'm eating less overall, but also because i think a big part of this cleanse is actually about self-reflection.

the quieting of the food noise in my head has left me with a very stripped-down and raw version of ME. and that's a very fragile state to be in, no matter who you are or how confident you are in general. so it makes sense that along with this period of resetting yourself physically, you also take some quiet time out to reset yourself spiritually and emotionally as well. i mean, that kind of happens on its own anyway. i keep saying that i feel like i just got the BEST therapy, but really it was the cleanse. i highly recommend it. (unless you are REALLY in trouble and actually need real therapy or professional help. go get that instead, in that case. :)

in summation, of course i'm excited to see one of my favorite bands. but i'm nervous at how i'm going to feel standing and cheering and dancing for a few hours (in case you've never heard how i behave at a concert, the high-pitched screaming right by the camera in this video is, in fact, me). and also, what if there's no champagne there, and i order a vodka-soda with some limes...is that cheating on my commitment to my cleanse, considering i said i'd only break the fast for champs?

i'm pretty sure i've used this GIF before. i'm totally ok with it. this GIF is important at all times.

lastly, i have lost TEN POUNDS (LBS), you guys! as of this morning! how cray is that? day 11, ten LBS. i know i know i know it's not about the weight loss, but now i'm on a mission to see if i can lose the 15 LBS that the cleanse website says is the high-end of a typical weight loss for this cleanse. since i've pretty much proven to myself beyond the shadow of a pistachio nut shell that i can do this cleanse, now i want to challenge my body to do it to it's maximum results.

wish me luck tonight!

(UPDATED!) Day 10: Better, Faster, Stronger. Plus, The Ice Storm.

--EOD REPORT--

i had the following delights for lunch and dinner today:

asparagus soup with some of my dinner salmon and veggies mixed in.

salmon with "gingerly" sauce and a hearty salad. 

the salmon was amazing. SO yummy. i put a big chunk of it in my asparagus soup for lunch, then ate the rest for dinner. there was a big salad with some radishes, cucumbers, cabbage, etc. with the salmon, and the delectable gingerly dressing. i have to say i'm not a big fan of salads in general. i love just plain vegetables, and unless it's arugala, i'm not really interested in the leaves. i guess because i've never been super into salad dressing? lettuce to me is just a vehicle for salad dressing. sorry to offend any salad lovers out there. :)

FINAL EOD TALLY:

LBS LOST: 8.5

PUREES CONSUMED: 4

NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE COMMENTED ON ASPARAGUS PEE SMELL: too many. 

--MORNING REPORT--

better, faster, stronger.

sorry i didn't blog last night! like i said in the morning report yesterday, i had a tough day yesterday, mainly due to the Crimson Tide and being on day 2 of just purees, and then of course it got cold last night. (to clarify, i KNOW that y'all out there who don't live in SoCal are laughing at me because i think 60 degrees is cold, and you know what? i'm ok with that. it doesn't affect me. it was cold for HERE, dammit!)

so, i actually passed out early from all of these factors last night. and i woke up today feeling pretty darned good! i was still a bit tired, but that's to be expected, and i lost another .5 LBS. this morning as i was driving into work, on the first cool, rainy, chilly day in a long time, i felt great. i love this weather, and i love feeling like the seasons are actually changing.

not that i complain about our great weather here, but, well, i do complain.

because i need some rain to balance out all the sunshine. actually, i'd like a good amount of rain, because i'm moody like that. (The Ice Storm is one of my favorite books, what do you expect? also, btw's, there is a GREAT movie adaptation of that book starring these amazing people:

kevin kline, joan allen, sigourney weaver, christina ricci, elijah wood... and a 70's swinger sex party. if you have not seen this film, you must. that's all there is.

anyway, i was driving in this cool, moody weather fully aware of the change that i have been undergoing, and i was pleased that the weather around me was changing as well. we all work together, as a system, right? and then, Kanye came on again! this time it was a bit of a throwback- "Stronger" came on, and i just ROCKED OUT to it in the car, and i really felt like i was better, faster, stronger. and i was reminded by -Ye that that which does not kill me only makes me stronger; a metaphor for how things that are challenging are also rewarding once survived. so today, that is my theme. i'm one strong bizzle, and i am working it, baby.

lastly, i got my food delivery this morning and am SO excited to see solid food in there! here's what's on the menu (i told chef kelly how much i love garlic, so she added more to this week's food. SCORE! who knew garlic could make a girl so happy? just don't try to make out with me this week:

10/9

Salmon salad with B~12 crave dressing (lots of garlic for you)

10/10

Garlic shrimp asparagus quinoa with pine nuts

That's it for humpday morning report! make it a good day, people, and remember that Kanye wants you to be better, faster and stronger today. just do it.

My Body is a Quiet Room. And Katy Perry. Day 9 (Morning Report)

today i woke up groggy and tired. as i was driving to work, i got this overwhelming emotion. the best way that i can describe it is that my body feels like a quiet - silent, actually - room. all of the food noise is gone, and every other sensory experience is amplified and echoes through me, bouncing off the boundaries that separate ME from the space and time of the universe around me. (no, i am not stoned). for example, i haven't really even been wearing perfume lately, even though i love perfume, because the smells have been overwhelming me. even my olfactory nerve has reset itself!

it also means that the cramps i woke up with this morning rumbled around loudly (though, surprisingly, they are not NEARLY as bad as they normally are. which means that this cleanse has somehow done the impossible inside my uterus, which is to soothe it from it's usual rage of wanting to rip itself from my insides).

and finally, i blame the cleanse for me not changing the station when Katy Perry's "Roar" came on the radio this morning. the opening and lyrics are so silly and basically cliche after cliche - with a slight twist - but, what can i say...i'm a sucker for the chorus and its onomatopoeia (um, for the record, i totally just spelled that correctly on my first try, unaided. my B.A. from UCLA with a degree in English, American Literature & Culture at use here, folks. i am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR...ok sorry, i will stop now).

MORNING TALLY:

LBS LOST: 7.5 (i think it may be more, actually. the Crimson Tide throws everything off)
NUMBER OF TIMES KATY PERRY ROARS IN THE SONG: 18

(UPDATED: I ATE A PISTACHIO. JUST ONE) Soup Cleanse Day 8

---FINAL EOD REPORT+CONFESSION+TALLY---

you guys, i ate a pistachio nut. and this is how it felt:

but i only ate one, not 4. and it didn't de-shell itself. and Psy wasn't there.

otherwise, i stuck with the all-puree cleanse today. it was just that today was hard, cleanse-wise. my focus is off mentally (blame the PMS) and i'm tired (ditto) and then, i had this really long, great email from chef kelly really waxing philosophical about food and the big picture, and it was SO great, and really resonated with me. (she really is all about inspiring people to see food differently and about the larger meaning of it) and then, in the email, totally nonchalantly as is her gentle, gingerly way, she said that i should not be surprised if i was emotional this week; "most people get emotional during week 2."

FUCK.

i'm already on the verge hormonally due to the inevitable life-force-tide that is swelling within me (and no, that was NOT a euphemism. but it was a metaphor. for periods. and cramps). so this is the backstory of the landscape that was in my mind as i stood in my kitchen, heated up my new tomato basil soup (part of the new batch of flavors i picked), and exactly what i was thinking about (perhaps whimpering about externally too?) when my glazed over eyes landed on a bag of nearly eaten pistachio nuts on the pantry shelf. 

so i had 1. BUT JUST ONE...just to chew something. i figured that since i had had nuts in quite a few of the prepared meals on the cleanse, it's not like it's a forbidden protein...right? anyway, again, this blog is all about my accountability and i am confessing to you all that i ate a fucking pistachio nut and i'm going to be TWICE as emotional as ever this week, so if ANY of you are left here reading by the end of this week, you are awesome. (sorry and thanks?)

FINAL EOD DAY 8 TALLY:

LBS LOST: 7.5 (woot!)

PUREES EATEN: 5

SINGLE PISTACHIO NUTS CONSUMED: trick category. the tally is in the category name. (1)

---MORNING REPORT---

happy(?) monday?

it's day 8! the only thing that brightened up my day today was...well, actually there are 2 things:

1. i lost another .5 LBS, so that is encouraging, especially knowing i'm going back to just purees for today and tomorrow. :/ at least i know that for sure i should keep losing weight today and tomorrow, rather than plateauing as my body tends to do after like an 8 LB weight loss in the past.
2. i got my all new purees today, and they are beautiful, bright and different colors, and it made me grateful for the fact that i changed out the flavors of the soups for this week. because i just could not continue with the ones i had for another 7 days...i wouldn't make it! 

so that's my report. tomorrow will be a true test of the effects of this cleanse on the ultimate force of nature: CRAMPS. i get them really bad, and they are scheduled for tomorrow. like i have to take 3 advil before they start or i throw up bad. so, if this cleanse helps alleviate that pain, then i will be even more of a believer than i already am in the whole cleansing/eating "clean" philosophy. 

but right now, all i can think about is the half-eaten Heath bar in the fridge at home that i found yesterday when i was reorganizing groceries (don't judge...i love to be in the kitchen. how do you think i got into this whole mess in the first place?!)

happy(?) monday!

The 777: 7 Days, 7 LBS Down; 7 Days to Go

I made it a full week!

The Last Supper Dogg. For this week, anyway.

Saved by the Bell. i mean...DWTS should have had Kelly Kapowski on this season too. THAT would be a dance off.

i feel cleaner and like i'm really clearing out a bunch of cobwebs; both physically and mentally with my body running on clean energy. and though i lost different amounts of weight on different days, i netted out by losing a little over one LB a day. (btw's, i don't know why i keep typing LB instead of saying POUND, but in case you are confused, that's what i mean).

i have to say that with the exception of the first 2 days of the cleanse, today has been the most difficult day. it's sunday, and tomorrow i have to go back to 2 full days of just purees (no solid meals :/ ). so, just the thought of that is difficult. then there's the fact that usually on the weekends i will cook or try to make something for dinner for my boyfriend and myself, or us and some friends, just to have a Sunday Dinner/Lunch (it's a British thing).

i was afraid to leave the house for any real social plans, because i didn't feel confident enough around, like, baguettes and jam, or eggs. or way too many glasses of prosecco. so the only thing that i allowed myself to do was to go see Gravity on 3d IMAX at Citywalk. (sidebar: it's a great film, cinematically. some parts i was like ok, srsly? but those parts were still good too. i highly recommend seeing it in IMAX 3d if you can-it was worth it. ps-i do not, nor have i ever, had the desire to travel into space. despite my love of Star Trek and Star Wars.)

we all know what going to the movies is about...snacks that you would never get anywhere else. usually, i opt for nachos and a coke or cheree icee. i don't eat either of these things anywhere other than the movies. so that was quite the hurdle to clear. i knew that i wasn't going to get either of these things today due to the cleanse, so instead i did treat myself to a Coke Zero. mind you, i gave up drinking soda about 6 months ago and basically just drink water, tea and coffee now, so i allotted myself something to feel like i was getting a treat from the concession stand. and i tell ya that coke zero was SWEET. like super sweet! my tastebuds were so shocked by it that i couldn't even finish it.

so i got through the movie, and then got home and had a great meal from my cleanse today. it was a tilapia with a rice concoction and some wilted spinach and then some sort of kraut-esque stuff on top. i ate every single last grain on the plate. i realized that i've also really missed cooking and i've had some organic carrots, broccoli and squash/yams that were about to go bad and my boyfriend basically doesn't eat if i don't cook (it's a compliment, not a mandatory). so i decided that i'd make up a broccoli soup for him using some chicken stock, the carrots, half an onion, some garlic, fresh thyme, and then also made him some mashed yams with rosemary, butter and brown sugar as a side. i can very proudly say that i made it through cooking both of these dishes that took a few steps each with only about 2 tastings...and only of the soup, to make sure the seasonings weren't off (i made him taste the yams and tell me what to add). since i don't use cream in my soups and it's basically a broth with broccoli addded in at the end and pureed, i actually think it was very close to the PureedLove soups that i'm eating, so i didn't feel terrible for tasting 2 teaspoons of the green goodness that i made. and i got to cook, which satiated me for a little while, though now i have cleanup to do and i'm hungry. :/

so that was this weekend. how was yours?

Lastly, for anyone who is interested, here is the actual form that you fill out for the cleanse once you're signed up. you pick from these categories, and i've decided to switch it up for week two...no matter how good a pumpkin or cauliflower soup is, i just cannot eat it for 14 days straight. (variety is the spice of pureed life, amirite?) i had to turn in any changes to my choices by EOD friday, and i opted for asparagus, sweet pea (recommended highly by my co-worker who's done this cleanse), swapped to white bean from the black bean (again, you just can't eat poop-soup for 14 days straight) and got the ginger beet soup. i'm excited to try new variations...i hope i like them!

Potpourri for Day 6, Alex. (7 LBS LOST!)

where is this on the pyramid of #self-actualization? ok i don't NEED liquor, but gosh it's nice once a week.

I've decided since it's the weekend, i'm going to give all of us a break and only blog once a day. i'm also going to use these weekend posts as a repository for the deeper, more philosophical thoughts about food, emotions (for which i hope you will join me in the comments) and other info about the cleansing process that i've been thinking about during the week, but didn't fit into my other posts. so the weekend blogs shall henceforth be known as "Potpourri Posts," in the style of Jeopardy. and so it was.

1. First off, i've lost 7 LBS. so there's that.

2. Secondly, and total sidebar here, but have you watched Orphan Black on BBC America? it is AMAZEBALLS. if you have, don't tell me what happens. i'm getting through season 1 on DVD right now. ERMERGHERD ERTS SER GHERD. but, if you have watched it, does anyone know why the eff it didn't get nominated for ANY Emmys?! Tatiana Maslany plays EIGHT characters. EIGHT.

Tatiana in 6 of 8 characters...MAIN characters she plays. often in scenes with herself. DUDE.

3. Third, some strange thoughts about food in general. Allow me to expand.

it's so weird, but i'm not craving any specific food, although i feel bound by this cleanse (and i am bound by it, because i made a commitment to it, so i'm not even entertaining the thought of "cheating" on it. i agreed at the onset with full disclosure that if there was to be a diversion, champagne would be my ONLY deviation. and so it was). anyhow, since i'm not craving any specific type or even an item of food, this simple fact helps to eliminate a lot of food "noise" from my head.

and it leaves me with this big, gaping hole of an epiphany that i wrote about slightly in an earlier blog...just about how emotional food is. i would be lying if i said that i'm not totally in a tizzy about what the hell, exactly, i'm going to start eating and stop eating when i come off this cleanse. i can't have food delivered to my doorstep forever, right? while thinking about what my first "free" meal will be post-cleanse, i found myself at a complete and utter standstill.

(photo from my series of original photography in Downtown Los Angeles' Grand Central Market. For the full series click here.)

i don't know what i WANT to eat. for the first time since i can remember in my state of being a sentient being. i don't crave any certain thing, nor do i like the sound of a greasy, pepperoni pizza, even though i LOVE pepperoni pizza. i like this CLEAN feeling of my body, but i don't like the lack of control or just being able to go out to a restaurant and even order light fare. i just can't do ANY of it now, which is, of course, the intentionally strict part of this cleanse. i imagine if we were left to our own devices to make these soups and meals (which is doable-they aren't super complex) we would likely mis-measure here, sub in some EVOO there, add a dash of something here, blah blah blah...just so that we could break the rules, in some teeny, tiny, miniscule way. and we'd think that this was somehow liberating us...somehow helping assert ourselves as our own person, totes in control of our own life because we EAT WHAT WE WANT, WHEN WE WANT, DAMMIT! but therein lies the whole irony: it's only hurting us. that mind fuck i talked about earlier about food being emotional...control is emotional. breaking the rules is emotional. it makes us FEEL an emotion, and food is the enabler that lets us do it.

so there you have my totally free-falling thoughts on the subject, as of now. like my general creative process has always been -- whether for my personal art or for high-level strategy and brainstorm at work, or even when i'm faced with a problem or a difficult decision -- i have always used one method, one point of origin, for attacking it. i take whatever it is that i'm facing or feeling, and i deconstruct it. disassemble it down to it's most minute of parts, and then, i try to put it back together again, and see if i can riff or make variations or adjustments that will make it better, or different in a better way better suited to my particular need for the situation.

i feel like i have sufficiently deconstructed the idea of food and control, and want vs. need, and have started to scratch the surface of what it is that we tend to be hungry FOR, and now, i have the next 8 days -- and you guys -- to help me figure out exactly how to reassemble how i eat and behave around food. so here we go!

New cleanse-related items on tomorrow's agenda to address in my END OF THE WEEK! blog:

• exercise 
• my new menu for next week, and 
• The Trouble with Tribbles. 

(ok, not really that last one. but it popped into my newly-clean mind. what can i say? once a #trekkie, always a #trekkie. you are, after all, at GeekGirlKnows.com, right? :)

(UPDATED) - Day 5 of 14: How a Dietary Cleanse Can Affect PMS and Allergies

EOD UPDATE+FINAL TALLY

this is pretty much how i feel about everything but my cleanse foods right now.

BUT... day 5, first full work-week of cleansing...CHECK! i have survived and i'm ready to face the weekend.

towards the end of the day today i had really crazy tummy troubles (read: that's a total euphemism for something waaaaay grosser.) that lasted for a few hours, and of course, it happened right when i had to get into the car and sit in LA traffic forever.

INFURIATING LA TRAFFIC.

even though i use that app Waze (thank you to Emmett for introducing me to it...it's AMAZING) to avoid traffic, sometimes that is just plain impossible in LA. especially if you are driving the route nearest the most accessible restroom stops (euphemism).

since i've been very regular until now, this was slightly unexpected... i have two theories:

1. it's either supposed to happen because, duh, i'm CLEANSING my body or 
2. it's because of the seared ahi tuna (read: basically raw fish with a thin layer around the outside cooked) that i took from tonight's dinner meal and put into my lunch puree. it also had brown rice and some raw cucumbers and i think a bit of radish in it, so any of those things could have been the culprit. 

and man, i tell ya, it is crazy when you start eating solid food and you can hear it literally moving through your stomach after you've eaten it. i can monitor my entire digestive tract, pretty much. it is a veritable force.

for those of you who didn't read the morning report, scroll down past The Dude dancing in the GIF for depictions of how (surprisingly) this cleanse has lessened normal effects of my allergies and PMS. as Martha Stewart would say, "it's a good thing."

FINAL DAY 5 TALLY:

LBS LOST: 6 (for SURE i've lost at least another half LB due to the EUPHEMISM above)

NUMBER OF PUREES EATEN: 4

NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE SEMI-FREAKED OUT ABOUT WHEN I START HAVING TO PLAN MY OWN MEALS AGAIN IN A WEEK: 8-9 (more about that in my weekend blogs)

hope you all had a great friday, and have a beautiful weekend planned ahead. i will try to "keep busy" as chef Kelly suggested, so wish me luck with surviving the weekend without structure, but full of purees. (oooh, and some scallops! i have yummy scallops for dinner tomorrow. i almost want it to be tomorrow night already just because of that).

cheers!

--MORNING REPORT--

HAPPY FRIDAY, DUDES!

so i woke up today with a pretty severe case of PMS rage in my head. like, so bad that i got annoyed at myself at something i thought about that didn't actually happen, it was just a hypothetical (in case you are interested, it was this whole diatribe i went on in my head about how some people say "that's mines" instead of "that's mine". it's MINE, not MINES! that's a pretty accurate portrayal of how it went in my head too).

then, i got into work and my food delivery for today through sunday wasn't here yet, i was like RAGGGGGGEEEEEEE. in my head. but outwardly, i was like "cool, thanks, i'll check back in like 15 mins!" to the front desk peeps. i'm actually really surprised that i've been pretty even keel this whole week, which is when i'd normally be just slightly bat-shit crazy in my head all the while trying to keep it cool and seem like the same person on the outside. not some hormone-filled impostor clone who took over daria's body. but i guess i couldn't expect it all to go away. but generally speaking, it is remarkable how normal i've felt--better than normal, in fact--all week long considering what's coming next week.

also something good to report: allergies. not that allergies are good...but the fact that i haven't had to use my Afrin nasal spray to clear out my sinuses all week is great. i have been sneezing a bit in the mornings, but i think that's because LA is being hit with the famous, crazy, Santa Ana winds, and that always makes my allergies go haywire. so really, this cleanse has eliminated a lot of the congestion and other crap that i deal with on a weekly basis allergy wise, which is pretty awesome!

no weight lost today...but, to be fair, i weighed myself before you-know-what. sometimes things just don't work out-what can you do? but i'm fairly confident you-know-what was like 1 solid LB so i'm going to just keep that as a small victory in my head, though not official.

also, i did get my delivery as i was writing this post, and chef Kelly is so cute...she sent me some words of encouragement, and here's my menu of solid food for tonight/the weekend:

my favorite thing is the fact that it says "gingerly" sauce. even though i think it's a typo, i love it and it will forever now be called "gingerly" sauce in my heart and mind.

thank you for all of the support on this first week of my journey! you guys have really helped me out just by following along, and i promise i will not disappoint you! and if i do, i will admit it, and we can get through it together. deal? deal. :)

MORNING TALLY:

NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 5.5
NUMBER OF PMS RAGES HAPPENING IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW: at least 7. (fucking government is shutdown, miley cyrus is SO annoying and it's "YOU'RE" not "YOUR" if you mean "YOU ARE." and there are TWO forms of the word "TO," which mean completely different things. TOO and TO! SHEESH INTERNET!!!)

(UPDATED) Day 4 - 5.5 LBS Lost!

---EOD UPDATE+FINAL TALLY---

today chef kelly checked in with me and asked if i was strictly sticking to the cleanse. at first when she used those words "STRICTLY STICKING" it made me slightly terrified. (then in my head, i free associated for a minute and ended up with "strictly ballroom" and then "strictly d&*#ly" and then i stopped.) i immediately admitted my champagne transgression and my soup switch up debacle the other night, and she said that it was all just fine, and was to be expected. she also told me that by this day on the cleanse, most people lose 4-6 LBS. i'm at 5.5 LBS. i'm right on track! she told me that i'm doing GREAT and to keep it up. she said i should see an even more dramatic loss by sunday.

but most importantly, we talked about how i feel. i told her that i feel so different, it's hard to put it into words if it's "good" or "bad." she responded and said that it IS different...it's called feeling CLEAN. and then she added "and YES, it really is that simple."

so there you have it. my insides are starting to get squeaky clean, and it's pretty awesome. i'm really looking forward to my delivery tomorrow, where i'm going to receive more purees, and then one of chef kelly's most popular meals: seared ahi poke tuna with avocado, brown rice and cucumbers, and some other shit. you had me at avocado. i mean really, i can just eat a whole avocado with some salt and lemon on toast as a meal, and i am a happy camper. no high maintenance here. well, besides this:

you know it is.

so here's the final tally before i go into the final weekday of the first week of my cleanse. i'm not going to lie when i say that this weekend makes me kind of nervous, since i don't have as much of a routine on the weekends as i do during the work week, which leaves more time to be lazy and thus want to snack because i free associate food like i did above with chef kelly in my head. but i'm going into it with an "i can do this, bitches" attitude, and i think that will help, no? at the end of this cleanse, i want to tell it this:

take that, 14 days of soup. i will DESTROY you with my willpower.

FINAL TALLY:

NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 5.5 (hitting my milestones, bizzles, just like a developmental-aged toddler. BOOM.)
NUMBER OF PUREES EATEN: 4
NUMBER OF SOLID MEALS DEVOURED: 1
NUMBER OF HOURS I SPENT SURFING THE WEB FOR REAL HOUSEWIVES GIFS: too many to count/admit in public.
NUMBER OF POOPS: 2.5 (don't ask about the .5)

-----MORNING REPORT----

i know, i know, i said this isn't mainly about the weight loss. but yet, i'm 5.5 lbs down since Monday! that is basically 3 full days of cleansing, which is over 1 lb a day. so that makes me pretty stoked! dance break:

no caption needed.

other things of note:

-SLEEP: i have been sleeping a bit more than normal, and waking up earlier and not being able to go back to sleep, but i am interpreting that as my body not feeling so groggy and cloudy and bogged down with dairy, sugar, etc. i may actually have to actually get out of bed early one of these days rather than trying to make myself lay there and go back to sleep. maybe i could do something in the morning? i dunno...one drastic change at a time, people.

-SKIN: i generally have pretty good skin (#thanksMom!) so i was worried that i would suffer some break outs with this cleanse, as my body was eliminating toxins. this morning, one of my co-workers told me my skin was glowy, and that was awesome.

-FILTER: dude, something has happened to my filter. like the one that is in between my brain and my mouth. you know like when you get a new air filter in your car, and then the AC smells like new-car smell and fake fresh air for a few days? that's how i think my filter is right now, because i am finding myself feeling sharper than normal and kind of saying the first thing that comes to mind in some moments (which, i'm told, i did in a staff meeting this morning. what? i thought it was funny.)

MORNING TALLY:

-LBS LOST: 5.5
-HEADBANGS DONE IN CAR LISTENING TO NIRVANA ON MY WAY INTO WORK TODAY: 17
-NUMBER OF FOOT IN MOUTH MOMENTS IN STAFF MEETING: 2 (or so i'm told. i don't know anymore, i have no filter).

(UPDATED) Day 3 of 14 Day Soup Cleanse: Morning Report+Gratitude Shout Outs

END OF DAY UPDATE:

so today, i learned an important lesson about habit. and about just how little it takes to be happy sometimes.

and, i learned just how quickly your palette can be cleansed without a sorbet. (BTWs, i would donate my spleen for a sorbet right now). since i've basically been the Gerber Baby for 48 hrs straight, i was so excited to get to work today and get my food delivery bag, knowing it'd contain my solid meals to replace 1 puree a day from now until Sunday.

i opened my thermal bag, and looked right past the containers of familiar-looking purees to behold the beauty before me. i SWEAR i heard angels sing, saw a halo and a unicorn ran by in the background. i had in my possession one box with quinoa, shrimp and sugar snap peas, and another box with the tilapia you see below. even though i don't like shrimp, i immediately and with my hand grabbed a shrimp and ate it. cold. i think i'm OK with shrimp now.

the pop of flavor and texture in my mouth was unreal. you'd think i'd been in prison for years like Bridget Jones was in that sequel and that hadn't eaten real food. or that i was like Nell eating a cooked meal for the first time. people, it's only been 2 days! but man, when i picked up a wilted spinach leaf and put it in my mouth, it was like no spinach i'd tasted before. and it wasn't any special kind of spinach... it's just that i had already gotten somewhat used to not eating. simple, pure, joy. it didn't take much. why can't we all slow down and appreciate the little things in life like this every day? oh, right. work. bills. duty. blah blah. well, fuck.

anyway, for lunch i took some spinach and a few chunks of fish and put them in my puree. and can i just say...i didn't feel like i was on a diet or a cleanse. it felt and tasted and satisfied like it was a regular lunch i'd have any other day at work. (at my desk. while working, splattering on my keyboard. but that's a whole other blog, and frankly, we don't have enough time for that.)

my lunch concoction. pure joy.

then, when i came home for dinner tonight, i made sure to lay everything out on a plate and grab a knife and fork and sit down at the table and eat like a lady. except indian-style on the floor at the coffee table. same diff:

baked tilapia, wilted spinach and curried quinoa. yummo!

i savored every last bite, and really enjoyed it. in that moment, i was so happy. so content. and damn skippy i scraped every last kernel (kernel?) of quinoa from my plate with my fork. don't judge.

i didn't scarf it down. and i even had to take a break in between! that's how much my stomach had grown averse to solid food in just 2 days: this meal completely filled me up. i guess you can form new habits...both bad and good, pretty quickly if you are determined and have a support system.

and if you are like me, and your outlet is writing, and if you have a blog and people who care enough about you to read it, any goal you have is pretty much guaranteed success. this whole soup cleanse journey has gotten me back into my writing in a regular way, and even if most of it is about food and like a small part of it is about poop and kanye west, it's writing nonetheless.

and that is another pleasant side effect of this cleanse: it got me to form a great new habit of writing for myself...not for work or for Huffington Post or for emails...but for myself, and for you guys. so, i want to add that to my list of things to be grateful for today. (OH and also on that list...i pooped 3 times today. i can't believe it! how?? i've been eating baby food, remember! oh man, i am SO instantly mortified that i just typed that, and furthermore, if you are reading it, that i didn't delete it before publishing this tonight. i guess they always say to write what you know...)

in summation, i would say that tonight, i am content, full, and looking forward to the shrimp for dinner (and a pop of it in my lunch) tomorrow. this whole soup cleanse thingy isn't so bad after all. i will say that if it weren't for the solid meals, i don't think i could stare down the tunnel at 14 days of this.

DAY 3 TALLY:

LBS LOST: 4
PUREES EATEN: 4
SOLID MEALS EATEN: 1
POOPS: 3
NUMBER OF BRIDGET JONES REFERENCES: 1
NUMBER OF NELL REFERENCES: 1

------------------MORNING UPDATE-----------------
today, on day 3, i am taking a moment to thank the universe for 3 things:

1) the people in my life who always are supportive of and enrich my life, but especially when they help me with little kick starts, like my dear co-worker and friend Chelsea did by leaving this note on my desk this morning:

thank you, Chelsea. this made my day! xoxo

2) the fact that i get to CHEW SOLID FOOD today!

this was in my delivery today. shrimp, quinoa and sugar snap peas YUM! i also got tilapia on wilted spinach with curried quinoa. these are my solid meals for today and tomorrow. 

3) rap music. well, all music. but this morning when i drove into work, i listened to some Kanye and i felt super gangsta. it put me in a good mood. thanks, Kayne, for laying down some sick beats.

BONUS:

NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 4. YES FOUR! since monday. i know it's likely mostly water weight, but it's nice to see that on the scale.

tonight i am going to heat up that Tilapia dish and put it on a real plate and eat it with a fork and knife and maybe light some dinner candles. (it feels like a ceremonial occasion, no?) i will check in then with the tally for the day.

happy hump day, gangstas. make it count.

Poem: An Ode to my Brown, Soupy Lunch

no, this is not poop.

it's merely black bean soup

and it tastes like a chili that's been chewed up already.

i know i'm no dr. seuss,

but i could srsly eat a moose.

(and thing 1 and thing 2 to boot.)

my tongue feels all fuzzy

but i'm sick of bein' chubby

so i'm going to finish this brown soupey soup.

thank you.

(UPDATED) - Day 2: 14 Day Soup Cleanse (2 LBS LOST!)

EVENING UPDATE+A BIG A-HA MOMENT ABOUT FOOD+FINAL TALLY

ok, so... can we all agree that life is about being flexible, and making compromises? yes? ok, good. please remember that when i tell you what i just did.

so yesterday (monday) when i got all my soups delivered at work, i counted out how many i'd be eating at home, and how many at work. since the majority of them were at work, i packed away 4 soups to bring home. i THOUGHT i picked the right combinations (you see there are 4 different columns of soups you pick from when you order your cleanse. one contains your fiber, one contains your iron, one contains your protein, etc. they work as a SYSTEM, people. actually, if you want to see the list, here it is. you basically pick one soup from columns 1 & 2, and then 2 from column 3 and then one from the chilled list.)

anyhow, when i got home late, tired and hungry tonight and VERY much looking forward to eating my cauliflower-garlic puree and then, later, as a night cap, my carrot-ginger puree, i realized the most HORRIBLE thing. yesterday, i accidentally brought home the black bean puree (see my poop? nope it's soup poem here for reference) and the pumpkin puree. and i've already had both of those today. i could not eat them both again, right? so i had one of them, the pumpkin one, and then sat there.

and i thought.

and i thought.

and then, clear as if someone had rung a bell, i remembered what Chef Kelly told me when i was doing my prep work for the cleanse. she said that if i had to go out to an event, that i should go and just be reasonable, and i could have a glass of champagne. just don't overdo it, you know?

so, instead of option 1: driving back to work to pick up the sadly left out purees (which i deeply considered) i went for option 2: i decided to skip my 5th puree all together tonight, and had 1/2 a glass of champagne.

it's liquid, there's no fat (right? i think?) and guess what: i stopped stressing so much. sure, i may have to go to bed early because i'm a bit hungry, and also because i actually can't wait to get into work tomorrow because i will have FOOD TO CHEW ON delivered to me at 8 am (and that is totally not a joke, BTW. i will go into work early for food. is that sick? i dunno, and i don't care.) for posterity's sake, and to keep the rustic nature of this cleanse alive, at least i poured this tiny amount of champagne into a mason jar. mason jars are rustic, right? people put soup in mason jars, no?

i swear it's just the tiny mason jar. 

so, in conclusion, i gave something up, and replaced it with something smaller that i was actually allowed to have even if i had eaten all of my purees. so somehow, i feel like i remained true to the cleanse. also, i'm telling you all about my indiscretion of sorts here, well, because that's why i'm documenting this in a public way. so that i can be accountable to someone...and that someone is YOU guys. SIDEBAR: i can't tell you how great it felt when a few of you reached out to me today personally to tell me you are following the blog and rooting for me. it's actually really helping me get through.

what i've learned so far... is that SO much of food; and preparing, planning, sharing, eating and talking about it is actually EMOTIONAL. am i starving, or deprived of anything right now? not anything that my body needs. which is why it is such a mind-fuck. i just miss it, that's all. it's like a bad friend or relationship. you know it's better for you when they are gone, but damn sometimes you miss something about them. and i miss chewing and choice. the power to consume what i want when i want. and now that i realize that fact, the fact that food controls me more than i think i control it, i've just unlocked the first step to solving the problem. i need to be in charge again, and the only way to do that, is first to deconstruct the whole process, down to basics. and that, ladies and gents, is the whole purpose of a cleanse.

and so, we progress.

so here's the FINAL tally for the day:

THE (UPDATED) TALLY

LBS LOST: still 2 (i won't weigh myself again until morning, so this stays the same)
NUMBER OF PUREES CONSUMED: 4
NUMBER OF GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE CONSUMED WITH PERMISSION MIGHT I ADD: 1/2

NUMBER OF TIMES I GOT LOST ON MY WAY TO WORK: still just 1. thank god i didn't decide to go back for that puree tonight, eh?

NUMBER OF EPIPHANIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF FOOD: 1 really big one

------------------MORNING UPDATE-----------------

well, i slept and i woke up. so that's something. also, i woke up around 6 am and had to pee - like a lot. i'm sure it's because i'm eating soup 5x a day and then supplementing that with tea and coffee to have SOME sense of flavor in my mouth.

i woke up feeling ok-not quite myself but not completely sluggish and depressed - but definitely subdued. so that's something too. since i usually have coffee and my breakfast at work, i was fine waiting until i got here-like, not starving or craving soup. :/  (oh btw, not sure if this is a side effect of the cleanse, but i got lost on my way to work today. a place i've worked almost 4 years that is like 20 mins from my house. so, that happened too.) and, just to add a photo of NOT soup to this post, i just googled "lost" and of course got way too many images from the ABC show. and i was trying to skip over them to find a good image of LOST in the traditional sense, but then i came across this photo of Kate from LOST in sparkly underwear and thought "god, i want my butt to look like that" and somehow, i feel like that applies here-both for the 2 lbs i LOST and because i got LOST on my way to work. so here's Kate from LOST wearing sparkly underwear with her great ass:

i mean, who doesn't want their butt to look like that?

i'm eating my pumpkin soup for breakfast now, and hopefully i will have some more energy after this and my cuppa joe.

on a good front, (and for those of you who are faint of heart when it comes to talking about bodily functions, just leave now), i woke up and went to the bathroom (which i hadn't all day yesterday) and then weighed myself (you know you ALL do that. we all know we weigh, like, at LEAST 1 lb less after we poop. #amirite?) and i've lost about 2 lbs! woot woot. so that's exciting.

i keep telling myself that the weight loss of this cleanse will be the desirable side effect of it, and that the main goal is to get healthy and cleanse out my system, but even i know that it's prolly more weighted the other way around. (HA get it? weighted? i mean... i think i'm funnier when i'm hungry. or maybe just more blunt.)

THE (MORNING) TALLY

LBS LOST: 2

NUMBER OF TIMES I GOT LOST ON MY WAY TO WORK: 1

NUMBER OF SHOWS THAT ARE AS GOOD AS LOST WAS: 1 (and it's Breaking Bad, mo-fos. which i dare to say was even better than LOST. BOOM.)

stay tuned for updates, and remember you can post comments, questions, jokes and words of encouragement below without having to sign in! i have an open comments system just so that it makes it easier for you all to communicate with me. so have at it!

click below to read:
SOUP CLEANSE DAY 1 BLOG
SOUP CLEANSE PREP WORK BLOG

14 Day Soup Cleanse: Day 1 (UPDATED)

END OF DAY 1 COMPLETE UPDATE+NEW TALLY:

yes, i am totally the asshole who did this to the shared refrigerator at work. sorry, co-workers. (i mean, what was i supposed to do with the first delivery?):

15 fresh, organic pureed soups for my cleansing pleasure(?)

Ok so here's the end of day update. it's 8:23 pm and i've finished all of my purees for the day. i'm not hungry, per se, but kind of depressed that i can't sneak downstairs to snack on anything (even something healthy) and that i have to wake up tomorrow and eat soup for breakfast.

don't get me wrong, the soups are super yummy...i'd eat them voluntarily on a normal day. it's just that i'm missing food. the act of planning, preparing and sharing food. the power trip that comes with being able to control what i eat and when. it's like Pretty Woman said, "i say when, i say who." ok maybe not quite. but you get it.

in terms of purees, here's what i had, in the order i had them.
9:30 am - pumpkin
12:15 pm - black bean chili
3:30 pm - chilled green cucumber-spinach-lemon (didn't like this. not enough seasoning/too much lemon, maybe? i like all the ingredients, it just wasn't tasty to me)
6:30 pm - cauliflower roasted garlic
8:30 pm - carrot ginger

i loved them all except the green chilled one. i couldn't actually even finish that one. i'm glad i had it as a snack rather than a full meal. that is for sure the one i will be replacing when, on Wednesday this week, PureedLove delivers me 4 purees (instead of 5 a day) and...WAIT FOR IT...a solid meal! fish and quinoa or rice...no raw fiber until next week, but i will get to CHEW stuff. and i can eat that whenever i want. and i get to do that from Wednesday-Sunday. then next week, Monday and Tuesday it's back to 5 purees a day...and then again Wednesday will be like diet Christmas. sort of.

i.can.not.wait.for.wednesday.to.come.CANTWAIT.

THE (UPDATED) TALLY

-LBS Lost: N/A

-PUREES EATEN: 5 as of 8:30 pm

-HUNGER PANGS: 1 really long one from about 5:20 pm-6:30 pm

-NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THE HEART SHAPED CHEESECAKE IN MY FRIDGE AT HOME: elleventy.

-------------------
Welp, here it is people. I had soup puree for breakfast. It was tasty, and I'm not hungry, but now i know what babies feel like. Kinda.

This past weekend i decided to cook up a storm because
a) i love cooking
b) i won't get to cook anything for the next 2 weeks and
c) i had to use up any stuff in the fruit and veg category in my fridge that was going to go bad.

so before i get to the daily tally of foods, here's what i cooked this weekend:

croque madame cupcakes for breakfast

coeur de la creme french cheesecake with raspberry coulis 

how pretty is that?!

So, i said goodbye to normal food last night with a last-minute binge on some homemade pigs in blankets (i didn't take a photo because, well, shame.) and this morning i arrived to a beautiful bag filled to the brim with...soup purees! 15 of them for the next 3 days. FIFTEEN SOUPS. here's the skinny followed by the daily tally, which, as the name suggests, i will be doing daily. duh.

-there are a bunch of hot soups that you pick from diff categories and one cold soup, and the categories from PureedLove are located here. since i don't normally eat a huge breakfast, i thought i'd try the chilled, green option today. i took one sip and put it back in the fridge. (note to self, i DO like chilled green veggie purees; just not for breakfast. noted.)

so i decided to go for the still-warm pumpkin puree, which looks like this:

Pureed Love: Pumpkin

It was tasty, actually spicy and sweet, which i liked, and it was pretty filling. weird to eat soup for breakfast, but i just pretended it was oatmeal. 

i have to eat every 2-3 hours, so the next one i try will likely be the cauliflower or the chili bean protein one. will check back in at the end of the day and update this post:

THE TALLY

-LBS Lost: N/A

-PUREES EATEN: 1 as of 11:54 am

-HUNGER PANGS: 0 as of 11:54 am

-NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THE HEART SHAPED CHEESECAKE IN MY FRIDGE AT HOME: 3

OMG You Guys...We SO Need These Facebook Buttons!

i mean...

how many times have you TOTALLY needed this button to exist? there's a whole slew of them on this other blog right here. which one is your favorite? tell me in the comments below!