(UPDATED. I Did NOT Have a Taco!) I Had Vodka, You Guys. And I'm a CHEAP DATE! Day 12

---EOD REPORT+FINAL TALLY---

this afternoon, one of my co-workers who is also a friend and whom i love (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, TAMMIE! ;) came over to me and was like "OMG did you SEE what is in the KITCHEN?!" and i was like "no!!!", and "that was on purpose!" whatever it is, I CAN'T EAT IT! and she was like "but you have to support meeeee!! we have to stick together!" and i was like "ok ok ok you are right! you have been supporting me in my cleanse, i will go LOOK at what is in the kitchen with you." i'm strong, right?

so i went in the kitchen and come to find that some mystery meanie awesome person had left EVERYTHING for make your own tacos. i'm talkin' chicken meat (white meat, hand cut), beef (again, chunky beef, hand cut), onions, cilantro, limes, cheese, beans, rice....EVERYTHING. all in these neat little containers. let me tell you something...

I HEART TACOS. especially make-your-own tacos. taco night is infamous in my house, always has been. it's a great way to make a group dinner when friends come over, or great for a mid-week dinner with you and your bestie or lover or partner.

anyways, while my co-worker (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, TAMMIE! :) tasted the beef and we discussed how, if you avoid the tortilla, it's basically a healthy bowl of homemade goodness, (#girleconomics) we surveyed the landscape. and i am so proud of myself...i did not take even ONE BITE of any of the spoils before me. which sort of looked like this:

with that hurdle cleared (her tasting and me avoiding tasting), we were surveying what of the leftovers was suitable bag-it-up-to-take-home goods. again, i feel triumphant in this moment, because i did something that satiated me, yet allowed me to keep my word to myself and my diet. i took a ziplock bag, put a generous amount of cilantro (which i LOVE) and some beautiful lime wedges in it, and put it in the fridge with my LAST 3 DAYS' (WOOT) worth of cleanse food. 

when i got home tonight, i had my dinner (seared scallops and a hearty salad), and then when it was time for my final puree of the day (sweet pea, in case you are curious), i took some cilantro out, put it into the soup bowl, squeezed some fresh lime on top, and BAM! i felt like i had gotten my (free) money's worth of food from work. i didn't feel like i was "missing out" on anything just because i wasn't eating the tacos. 

in fact, i felt proud of myself for coming up with a creative, non-caloric and non-cheating-on-my-cleanse solution to free food being offered up at work (a situation that i know we ALL find hard to resist. we somehow talk ourselves out of whatever our normal eating habits are when there is free food involved...even if that food is not something we are craving, or even if it's something that we don't particularly love. what is up with that? #foodnoise, that's what. that's for another day).

so that's my story of the day. i feel like it was a strong finish to the end of a rather difficult yet successful work week. i feel that things are starting to fall into place for me, and this is just the beginning. i'm excited to blog this weekend about some bigger picture and summary thoughts about this life-altering cleanse, and also about the little nuances of it. i've officially made it 12 days as of today, and that is pretty awesome, if i do say so myself.

FINAL EOD TALLY:

-LBS LOST: 10
-NUMBER OF TACOS EATEN: 0
-NUMBER OF TIMES YOU WILL SEE A DANCING TACO ON MY BLOG: this probably isn't the last.

---MORNING REPORT---

so last night, try as i might to find champs at the Henry Fonda theatre, the closest thing i could find was this:

grey goose and soda with a few limes. what?

but when you are seeing this:

Stereophonics. #RockAndRollBaby.

and haven't eaten all of your soup purees, and the band didn't go on until 10 pm, and you all of a sudden feel REALLY old for the first time, a vodka+soda+3 limes is definitely in order.

and let me tell you, i was a CHEAP DATE!!! i took like 3 sips of my cocktail, and i was instantly buzzed. it was so funny! i had to sip it slowly, and then after i drank it, i was totally buzzed, and then like 2 hrs later i had a headache already. HA! my, how things change.

the concert was great, but man was i tired. it's hard enough on a "school night" to go out these days, and it was even harder given my cleansing state currently. but i made it! the concert was great, and i hit another milestone in being able to avoid the street hot dogs outside the theatre on Hollywood Blvd. at midnight last night.

this morning's weight loss tally is still the same (i reckon the alcohol bloated me up a bit too), and i got my FINAL food delivery today from Chef Kelly. we had a great chat about how she is going to help me understand how to continue this new way of eating on my own after Sunday. i CAN NOT WAIT to go to Trader Joe's and go grocery shopping this sunday! I CAN'T WAIT! i've saved so much money not shopping or going out to eat, it's insane. (i did win this cleanse, remember, so it's been free for me, but it is a good amount of money if you are paying for it. but i think that with 5 organic meals a day for 2 weeks, i'd still be saving money even if i was paying for it. #girleconomics.

so tonight, tomorrow and sunday i will be blogging about all of the details you guys have been asking me about privately. specifics about the food, cleanse, effects, etc. it will give a good overview/wrap up of all of the goods, so help me get through my last 3 days! thanks again for continuing to support me on this journey. cheesy as it sounds, i'm a changed woman. 

Day 11: 10 LBS Lost, Going to a Concert Tonight - #Stereophonics

first off, i'm going to a concert tonight. to see the Stereophonics, one of my favorite bands. if you don't know who they are, please make an effort to find out-they are SO worth it! here's a first step:

what a voice, eh? glorious.

so i'm super excited to go to this concert, however i'm a tad trepidatious. (is that even the correct tense/use of that word?). the reason i'm apprehensive (that's better) is that as i said in a previous post, i've been taking the whole social plans thing easy during this two week cleanse period because it's just better/easier that way. not only because it's easier to be away from temptation or being reminded of what you CAN'T have, and because i get more tired than usual because i'm eating less overall, but also because i think a big part of this cleanse is actually about self-reflection.

the quieting of the food noise in my head has left me with a very stripped-down and raw version of ME. and that's a very fragile state to be in, no matter who you are or how confident you are in general. so it makes sense that along with this period of resetting yourself physically, you also take some quiet time out to reset yourself spiritually and emotionally as well. i mean, that kind of happens on its own anyway. i keep saying that i feel like i just got the BEST therapy, but really it was the cleanse. i highly recommend it. (unless you are REALLY in trouble and actually need real therapy or professional help. go get that instead, in that case. :)

in summation, of course i'm excited to see one of my favorite bands. but i'm nervous at how i'm going to feel standing and cheering and dancing for a few hours (in case you've never heard how i behave at a concert, the high-pitched screaming right by the camera in this video is, in fact, me). and also, what if there's no champagne there, and i order a vodka-soda with some limes...is that cheating on my commitment to my cleanse, considering i said i'd only break the fast for champs?

i'm pretty sure i've used this GIF before. i'm totally ok with it. this GIF is important at all times.

lastly, i have lost TEN POUNDS (LBS), you guys! as of this morning! how cray is that? day 11, ten LBS. i know i know i know it's not about the weight loss, but now i'm on a mission to see if i can lose the 15 LBS that the cleanse website says is the high-end of a typical weight loss for this cleanse. since i've pretty much proven to myself beyond the shadow of a pistachio nut shell that i can do this cleanse, now i want to challenge my body to do it to it's maximum results.

wish me luck tonight!

(UPDATED!) Day 10: Better, Faster, Stronger. Plus, The Ice Storm.

--EOD REPORT--

i had the following delights for lunch and dinner today:

asparagus soup with some of my dinner salmon and veggies mixed in.

salmon with "gingerly" sauce and a hearty salad. 

the salmon was amazing. SO yummy. i put a big chunk of it in my asparagus soup for lunch, then ate the rest for dinner. there was a big salad with some radishes, cucumbers, cabbage, etc. with the salmon, and the delectable gingerly dressing. i have to say i'm not a big fan of salads in general. i love just plain vegetables, and unless it's arugala, i'm not really interested in the leaves. i guess because i've never been super into salad dressing? lettuce to me is just a vehicle for salad dressing. sorry to offend any salad lovers out there. :)

FINAL EOD TALLY:

LBS LOST: 8.5

PUREES CONSUMED: 4

NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE COMMENTED ON ASPARAGUS PEE SMELL: too many. 

--MORNING REPORT--

better, faster, stronger.

sorry i didn't blog last night! like i said in the morning report yesterday, i had a tough day yesterday, mainly due to the Crimson Tide and being on day 2 of just purees, and then of course it got cold last night. (to clarify, i KNOW that y'all out there who don't live in SoCal are laughing at me because i think 60 degrees is cold, and you know what? i'm ok with that. it doesn't affect me. it was cold for HERE, dammit!)

so, i actually passed out early from all of these factors last night. and i woke up today feeling pretty darned good! i was still a bit tired, but that's to be expected, and i lost another .5 LBS. this morning as i was driving into work, on the first cool, rainy, chilly day in a long time, i felt great. i love this weather, and i love feeling like the seasons are actually changing.

not that i complain about our great weather here, but, well, i do complain.

because i need some rain to balance out all the sunshine. actually, i'd like a good amount of rain, because i'm moody like that. (The Ice Storm is one of my favorite books, what do you expect? also, btw's, there is a GREAT movie adaptation of that book starring these amazing people:

kevin kline, joan allen, sigourney weaver, christina ricci, elijah wood... and a 70's swinger sex party. if you have not seen this film, you must. that's all there is.

anyway, i was driving in this cool, moody weather fully aware of the change that i have been undergoing, and i was pleased that the weather around me was changing as well. we all work together, as a system, right? and then, Kanye came on again! this time it was a bit of a throwback- "Stronger" came on, and i just ROCKED OUT to it in the car, and i really felt like i was better, faster, stronger. and i was reminded by -Ye that that which does not kill me only makes me stronger; a metaphor for how things that are challenging are also rewarding once survived. so today, that is my theme. i'm one strong bizzle, and i am working it, baby.

lastly, i got my food delivery this morning and am SO excited to see solid food in there! here's what's on the menu (i told chef kelly how much i love garlic, so she added more to this week's food. SCORE! who knew garlic could make a girl so happy? just don't try to make out with me this week:

10/9

Salmon salad with B~12 crave dressing (lots of garlic for you)

10/10

Garlic shrimp asparagus quinoa with pine nuts

That's it for humpday morning report! make it a good day, people, and remember that Kanye wants you to be better, faster and stronger today. just do it.

My Body is a Quiet Room. And Katy Perry. Day 9 (Morning Report)

today i woke up groggy and tired. as i was driving to work, i got this overwhelming emotion. the best way that i can describe it is that my body feels like a quiet - silent, actually - room. all of the food noise is gone, and every other sensory experience is amplified and echoes through me, bouncing off the boundaries that separate ME from the space and time of the universe around me. (no, i am not stoned). for example, i haven't really even been wearing perfume lately, even though i love perfume, because the smells have been overwhelming me. even my olfactory nerve has reset itself!

it also means that the cramps i woke up with this morning rumbled around loudly (though, surprisingly, they are not NEARLY as bad as they normally are. which means that this cleanse has somehow done the impossible inside my uterus, which is to soothe it from it's usual rage of wanting to rip itself from my insides).

and finally, i blame the cleanse for me not changing the station when Katy Perry's "Roar" came on the radio this morning. the opening and lyrics are so silly and basically cliche after cliche - with a slight twist - but, what can i say...i'm a sucker for the chorus and its onomatopoeia (um, for the record, i totally just spelled that correctly on my first try, unaided. my B.A. from UCLA with a degree in English, American Literature & Culture at use here, folks. i am a champion, and you're gonna hear me ROAR...ok sorry, i will stop now).

MORNING TALLY:

LBS LOST: 7.5 (i think it may be more, actually. the Crimson Tide throws everything off)
NUMBER OF TIMES KATY PERRY ROARS IN THE SONG: 18

(UPDATED) Day 4 - 5.5 LBS Lost!

---EOD UPDATE+FINAL TALLY---

today chef kelly checked in with me and asked if i was strictly sticking to the cleanse. at first when she used those words "STRICTLY STICKING" it made me slightly terrified. (then in my head, i free associated for a minute and ended up with "strictly ballroom" and then "strictly d&*#ly" and then i stopped.) i immediately admitted my champagne transgression and my soup switch up debacle the other night, and she said that it was all just fine, and was to be expected. she also told me that by this day on the cleanse, most people lose 4-6 LBS. i'm at 5.5 LBS. i'm right on track! she told me that i'm doing GREAT and to keep it up. she said i should see an even more dramatic loss by sunday.

but most importantly, we talked about how i feel. i told her that i feel so different, it's hard to put it into words if it's "good" or "bad." she responded and said that it IS different...it's called feeling CLEAN. and then she added "and YES, it really is that simple."

so there you have it. my insides are starting to get squeaky clean, and it's pretty awesome. i'm really looking forward to my delivery tomorrow, where i'm going to receive more purees, and then one of chef kelly's most popular meals: seared ahi poke tuna with avocado, brown rice and cucumbers, and some other shit. you had me at avocado. i mean really, i can just eat a whole avocado with some salt and lemon on toast as a meal, and i am a happy camper. no high maintenance here. well, besides this:

you know it is.

so here's the final tally before i go into the final weekday of the first week of my cleanse. i'm not going to lie when i say that this weekend makes me kind of nervous, since i don't have as much of a routine on the weekends as i do during the work week, which leaves more time to be lazy and thus want to snack because i free associate food like i did above with chef kelly in my head. but i'm going into it with an "i can do this, bitches" attitude, and i think that will help, no? at the end of this cleanse, i want to tell it this:

take that, 14 days of soup. i will DESTROY you with my willpower.

FINAL TALLY:

NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 5.5 (hitting my milestones, bizzles, just like a developmental-aged toddler. BOOM.)
NUMBER OF PUREES EATEN: 4
NUMBER OF SOLID MEALS DEVOURED: 1
NUMBER OF HOURS I SPENT SURFING THE WEB FOR REAL HOUSEWIVES GIFS: too many to count/admit in public.
NUMBER OF POOPS: 2.5 (don't ask about the .5)

-----MORNING REPORT----

i know, i know, i said this isn't mainly about the weight loss. but yet, i'm 5.5 lbs down since Monday! that is basically 3 full days of cleansing, which is over 1 lb a day. so that makes me pretty stoked! dance break:

no caption needed.

other things of note:

-SLEEP: i have been sleeping a bit more than normal, and waking up earlier and not being able to go back to sleep, but i am interpreting that as my body not feeling so groggy and cloudy and bogged down with dairy, sugar, etc. i may actually have to actually get out of bed early one of these days rather than trying to make myself lay there and go back to sleep. maybe i could do something in the morning? i dunno...one drastic change at a time, people.

-SKIN: i generally have pretty good skin (#thanksMom!) so i was worried that i would suffer some break outs with this cleanse, as my body was eliminating toxins. this morning, one of my co-workers told me my skin was glowy, and that was awesome.

-FILTER: dude, something has happened to my filter. like the one that is in between my brain and my mouth. you know like when you get a new air filter in your car, and then the AC smells like new-car smell and fake fresh air for a few days? that's how i think my filter is right now, because i am finding myself feeling sharper than normal and kind of saying the first thing that comes to mind in some moments (which, i'm told, i did in a staff meeting this morning. what? i thought it was funny.)

MORNING TALLY:

-LBS LOST: 5.5
-HEADBANGS DONE IN CAR LISTENING TO NIRVANA ON MY WAY INTO WORK TODAY: 17
-NUMBER OF FOOT IN MOUTH MOMENTS IN STAFF MEETING: 2 (or so i'm told. i don't know anymore, i have no filter).

(UPDATED) Day 3 of 14 Day Soup Cleanse: Morning Report+Gratitude Shout Outs

END OF DAY UPDATE:

so today, i learned an important lesson about habit. and about just how little it takes to be happy sometimes.

and, i learned just how quickly your palette can be cleansed without a sorbet. (BTWs, i would donate my spleen for a sorbet right now). since i've basically been the Gerber Baby for 48 hrs straight, i was so excited to get to work today and get my food delivery bag, knowing it'd contain my solid meals to replace 1 puree a day from now until Sunday.

i opened my thermal bag, and looked right past the containers of familiar-looking purees to behold the beauty before me. i SWEAR i heard angels sing, saw a halo and a unicorn ran by in the background. i had in my possession one box with quinoa, shrimp and sugar snap peas, and another box with the tilapia you see below. even though i don't like shrimp, i immediately and with my hand grabbed a shrimp and ate it. cold. i think i'm OK with shrimp now.

the pop of flavor and texture in my mouth was unreal. you'd think i'd been in prison for years like Bridget Jones was in that sequel and that hadn't eaten real food. or that i was like Nell eating a cooked meal for the first time. people, it's only been 2 days! but man, when i picked up a wilted spinach leaf and put it in my mouth, it was like no spinach i'd tasted before. and it wasn't any special kind of spinach... it's just that i had already gotten somewhat used to not eating. simple, pure, joy. it didn't take much. why can't we all slow down and appreciate the little things in life like this every day? oh, right. work. bills. duty. blah blah. well, fuck.

anyway, for lunch i took some spinach and a few chunks of fish and put them in my puree. and can i just say...i didn't feel like i was on a diet or a cleanse. it felt and tasted and satisfied like it was a regular lunch i'd have any other day at work. (at my desk. while working, splattering on my keyboard. but that's a whole other blog, and frankly, we don't have enough time for that.)

my lunch concoction. pure joy.

then, when i came home for dinner tonight, i made sure to lay everything out on a plate and grab a knife and fork and sit down at the table and eat like a lady. except indian-style on the floor at the coffee table. same diff:

baked tilapia, wilted spinach and curried quinoa. yummo!

i savored every last bite, and really enjoyed it. in that moment, i was so happy. so content. and damn skippy i scraped every last kernel (kernel?) of quinoa from my plate with my fork. don't judge.

i didn't scarf it down. and i even had to take a break in between! that's how much my stomach had grown averse to solid food in just 2 days: this meal completely filled me up. i guess you can form new habits...both bad and good, pretty quickly if you are determined and have a support system.

and if you are like me, and your outlet is writing, and if you have a blog and people who care enough about you to read it, any goal you have is pretty much guaranteed success. this whole soup cleanse journey has gotten me back into my writing in a regular way, and even if most of it is about food and like a small part of it is about poop and kanye west, it's writing nonetheless.

and that is another pleasant side effect of this cleanse: it got me to form a great new habit of writing for myself...not for work or for Huffington Post or for emails...but for myself, and for you guys. so, i want to add that to my list of things to be grateful for today. (OH and also on that list...i pooped 3 times today. i can't believe it! how?? i've been eating baby food, remember! oh man, i am SO instantly mortified that i just typed that, and furthermore, if you are reading it, that i didn't delete it before publishing this tonight. i guess they always say to write what you know...)

in summation, i would say that tonight, i am content, full, and looking forward to the shrimp for dinner (and a pop of it in my lunch) tomorrow. this whole soup cleanse thingy isn't so bad after all. i will say that if it weren't for the solid meals, i don't think i could stare down the tunnel at 14 days of this.

DAY 3 TALLY:

LBS LOST: 4
PUREES EATEN: 4
SOLID MEALS EATEN: 1
POOPS: 3
NUMBER OF BRIDGET JONES REFERENCES: 1
NUMBER OF NELL REFERENCES: 1

------------------MORNING UPDATE-----------------
today, on day 3, i am taking a moment to thank the universe for 3 things:

1) the people in my life who always are supportive of and enrich my life, but especially when they help me with little kick starts, like my dear co-worker and friend Chelsea did by leaving this note on my desk this morning:

thank you, Chelsea. this made my day! xoxo

2) the fact that i get to CHEW SOLID FOOD today!

this was in my delivery today. shrimp, quinoa and sugar snap peas YUM! i also got tilapia on wilted spinach with curried quinoa. these are my solid meals for today and tomorrow. 

3) rap music. well, all music. but this morning when i drove into work, i listened to some Kanye and i felt super gangsta. it put me in a good mood. thanks, Kayne, for laying down some sick beats.

BONUS:

NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 4. YES FOUR! since monday. i know it's likely mostly water weight, but it's nice to see that on the scale.

tonight i am going to heat up that Tilapia dish and put it on a real plate and eat it with a fork and knife and maybe light some dinner candles. (it feels like a ceremonial occasion, no?) i will check in then with the tally for the day.

happy hump day, gangstas. make it count.

Coldplay+Electronic Wristbands=Most Amazeballs Concert Ever

Video I shot of #Coldplay concert in Chicago, performing "In My Place." 

Complete with awesome electronic wristbands that light up to the music.

And yes, that's me screaming. But look at the wristbands. :)

So, recently i went on a work trip to Chicago, a city which i ADORE. I realized that while i was there, one of my fave bands, Coldplay, was playing at the United Center. It was kismet. i HAD to get tickets.

Now, i've seen Coldplay live probably at least 2 times on each tour (so about 10x total). to say that i'm a superfan would be to understate my excitement for their music and performances. but this concert was different; it contained something i had NOT seen before. and now, concert has forever changed for me going forward: the electronic wristbands.