so today, i learned an important lesson about habit. and about just how little it takes to be happy sometimes.
and, i learned just how quickly your palette can be cleansed without a sorbet. (BTWs, i would donate my spleen for a sorbet right now). since i've basically been the Gerber Baby for 48 hrs straight, i was so excited to get to work today and get my food delivery bag, knowing it'd contain my solid meals to replace 1 puree a day from now until Sunday.
i opened my thermal bag, and looked right past the containers of familiar-looking purees to behold the beauty before me. i SWEAR i heard angels sing, saw a halo and a unicorn ran by in the background. i had in my possession one box with quinoa, shrimp and sugar snap peas, and another box with the tilapia you see below. even though i don't like shrimp, i immediately and with my hand grabbed a shrimp and ate it. cold. i think i'm OK with shrimp now.
the pop of flavor and texture in my mouth was unreal. you'd think i'd been in prison for years like Bridget Jones was in that sequel and that hadn't eaten real food. or that i was like Nell eating a cooked meal for the first time. people, it's only been 2 days! but man, when i picked up a wilted spinach leaf and put it in my mouth, it was like no spinach i'd tasted before. and it wasn't any special kind of spinach... it's just that i had already gotten somewhat used to not eating. simple, pure, joy. it didn't take much. why can't we all slow down and appreciate the little things in life like this every day? oh, right. work. bills. duty. blah blah. well, fuck.
anyway, for lunch i took some spinach and a few chunks of fish and put them in my puree. and can i just say...i didn't feel like i was on a diet or a cleanse. it felt and tasted and satisfied like it was a regular lunch i'd have any other day at work. (at my desk. while working, splattering on my keyboard. but that's a whole other blog, and frankly, we don't have enough time for that.)
|my lunch concoction. pure joy.|
|baked tilapia, wilted spinach and curried quinoa. yummo!|
i savored every last bite, and really enjoyed it. in that moment, i was so happy. so content. and damn skippy i scraped every last kernel (kernel?) of quinoa from my plate with my fork. don't judge.
i didn't scarf it down. and i even had to take a break in between! that's how much my stomach had grown averse to solid food in just 2 days: this meal completely filled me up. i guess you can form new habits...both bad and good, pretty quickly if you are determined and have a support system.
and if you are like me, and your outlet is writing, and if you have a blog and people who care enough about you to read it, any goal you have is pretty much guaranteed success. this whole soup cleanse journey has gotten me back into my writing in a regular way, and even if most of it is about food and like a small part of it is about poop and kanye west, it's writing nonetheless.
and that is another pleasant side effect of this cleanse: it got me to form a great new habit of writing for myself...not for work or for Huffington Post or for emails...but for myself, and for you guys. so, i want to add that to my list of things to be grateful for today. (OH and also on that list...i pooped 3 times today. i can't believe it! how?? i've been eating baby food, remember! oh man, i am SO instantly mortified that i just typed that, and furthermore, if you are reading it, that i didn't delete it before publishing this tonight. i guess they always say to write what you know...)
in summation, i would say that tonight, i am content, full, and looking forward to the shrimp for dinner (and a pop of it in my lunch) tomorrow. this whole soup cleanse thingy isn't so bad after all. i will say that if it weren't for the solid meals, i don't think i could stare down the tunnel at 14 days of this.
DAY 3 TALLY:
LBS LOST: 4
PUREES EATEN: 4
SOLID MEALS EATEN: 1
NUMBER OF BRIDGET JONES REFERENCES: 1
NUMBER OF NELL REFERENCES: 1
today, on day 3, i am taking a moment to thank the universe for 3 things:
1) the people in my life who always are supportive of and enrich my life, but especially when they help me with little kick starts, like my dear co-worker and friend Chelsea did by leaving this note on my desk this morning:
|thank you, Chelsea. this made my day! xoxo|
2) the fact that i get to CHEW SOLID FOOD today!
|this was in my delivery today. shrimp, quinoa and sugar snap peas YUM! i also got tilapia on wilted spinach with curried quinoa. these are my solid meals for today and tomorrow.|
NUMBER OF LBS LOST: 4. YES FOUR! since monday. i know it's likely mostly water weight, but it's nice to see that on the scale.
tonight i am going to heat up that Tilapia dish and put it on a real plate and eat it with a fork and knife and maybe light some dinner candles. (it feels like a ceremonial occasion, no?) i will check in then with the tally for the day.
happy hump day, gangstas. make it count.
Congrats on your 4 lbs, D! Woot Woot!
But most importantly congrats on this personal journey you've set out on. It takes a lot of mental (and spiritual) power to get through a cleanse and I think you will do so great.
Eventually the noise of cheesecake will go away and the brain fog will lift. Your mind will become so attuned to everything around you.
Be present. Allow yourself to be a channel. Best of luck.
Chriann-as always, thank you for your words of wisdom and support! i'm so happy to know that you are following along. xoxo hope you are well :)
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