Day 11: 10 LBS Lost, Going to a Concert Tonight - #Stereophonics

first off, i'm going to a concert tonight. to see the Stereophonics, one of my favorite bands. if you don't know who they are, please make an effort to find out-they are SO worth it! here's a first step:

what a voice, eh? glorious.

so i'm super excited to go to this concert, however i'm a tad trepidatious. (is that even the correct tense/use of that word?). the reason i'm apprehensive (that's better) is that as i said in a previous post, i've been taking the whole social plans thing easy during this two week cleanse period because it's just better/easier that way. not only because it's easier to be away from temptation or being reminded of what you CAN'T have, and because i get more tired than usual because i'm eating less overall, but also because i think a big part of this cleanse is actually about self-reflection.

the quieting of the food noise in my head has left me with a very stripped-down and raw version of ME. and that's a very fragile state to be in, no matter who you are or how confident you are in general. so it makes sense that along with this period of resetting yourself physically, you also take some quiet time out to reset yourself spiritually and emotionally as well. i mean, that kind of happens on its own anyway. i keep saying that i feel like i just got the BEST therapy, but really it was the cleanse. i highly recommend it. (unless you are REALLY in trouble and actually need real therapy or professional help. go get that instead, in that case. :)

in summation, of course i'm excited to see one of my favorite bands. but i'm nervous at how i'm going to feel standing and cheering and dancing for a few hours (in case you've never heard how i behave at a concert, the high-pitched screaming right by the camera in this video is, in fact, me). and also, what if there's no champagne there, and i order a vodka-soda with some limes...is that cheating on my commitment to my cleanse, considering i said i'd only break the fast for champs?

i'm pretty sure i've used this GIF before. i'm totally ok with it. this GIF is important at all times.

lastly, i have lost TEN POUNDS (LBS), you guys! as of this morning! how cray is that? day 11, ten LBS. i know i know i know it's not about the weight loss, but now i'm on a mission to see if i can lose the 15 LBS that the cleanse website says is the high-end of a typical weight loss for this cleanse. since i've pretty much proven to myself beyond the shadow of a pistachio nut shell that i can do this cleanse, now i want to challenge my body to do it to it's maximum results.

wish me luck tonight!

Potpourri for Day 6, Alex. (7 LBS LOST!)

where is this on the pyramid of #self-actualization? ok i don't NEED liquor, but gosh it's nice once a week.

I've decided since it's the weekend, i'm going to give all of us a break and only blog once a day. i'm also going to use these weekend posts as a repository for the deeper, more philosophical thoughts about food, emotions (for which i hope you will join me in the comments) and other info about the cleansing process that i've been thinking about during the week, but didn't fit into my other posts. so the weekend blogs shall henceforth be known as "Potpourri Posts," in the style of Jeopardy. and so it was.

1. First off, i've lost 7 LBS. so there's that.

2. Secondly, and total sidebar here, but have you watched Orphan Black on BBC America? it is AMAZEBALLS. if you have, don't tell me what happens. i'm getting through season 1 on DVD right now. ERMERGHERD ERTS SER GHERD. but, if you have watched it, does anyone know why the eff it didn't get nominated for ANY Emmys?! Tatiana Maslany plays EIGHT characters. EIGHT.

Tatiana in 6 of 8 characters...MAIN characters she plays. often in scenes with herself. DUDE.

3. Third, some strange thoughts about food in general. Allow me to expand.

it's so weird, but i'm not craving any specific food, although i feel bound by this cleanse (and i am bound by it, because i made a commitment to it, so i'm not even entertaining the thought of "cheating" on it. i agreed at the onset with full disclosure that if there was to be a diversion, champagne would be my ONLY deviation. and so it was). anyhow, since i'm not craving any specific type or even an item of food, this simple fact helps to eliminate a lot of food "noise" from my head.

and it leaves me with this big, gaping hole of an epiphany that i wrote about slightly in an earlier blog...just about how emotional food is. i would be lying if i said that i'm not totally in a tizzy about what the hell, exactly, i'm going to start eating and stop eating when i come off this cleanse. i can't have food delivered to my doorstep forever, right? while thinking about what my first "free" meal will be post-cleanse, i found myself at a complete and utter standstill.

(photo from my series of original photography in Downtown Los Angeles' Grand Central Market. For the full series click here.)

i don't know what i WANT to eat. for the first time since i can remember in my state of being a sentient being. i don't crave any certain thing, nor do i like the sound of a greasy, pepperoni pizza, even though i LOVE pepperoni pizza. i like this CLEAN feeling of my body, but i don't like the lack of control or just being able to go out to a restaurant and even order light fare. i just can't do ANY of it now, which is, of course, the intentionally strict part of this cleanse. i imagine if we were left to our own devices to make these soups and meals (which is doable-they aren't super complex) we would likely mis-measure here, sub in some EVOO there, add a dash of something here, blah blah blah...just so that we could break the rules, in some teeny, tiny, miniscule way. and we'd think that this was somehow liberating us...somehow helping assert ourselves as our own person, totes in control of our own life because we EAT WHAT WE WANT, WHEN WE WANT, DAMMIT! but therein lies the whole irony: it's only hurting us. that mind fuck i talked about earlier about food being emotional...control is emotional. breaking the rules is emotional. it makes us FEEL an emotion, and food is the enabler that lets us do it.

so there you have my totally free-falling thoughts on the subject, as of now. like my general creative process has always been -- whether for my personal art or for high-level strategy and brainstorm at work, or even when i'm faced with a problem or a difficult decision -- i have always used one method, one point of origin, for attacking it. i take whatever it is that i'm facing or feeling, and i deconstruct it. disassemble it down to it's most minute of parts, and then, i try to put it back together again, and see if i can riff or make variations or adjustments that will make it better, or different in a better way better suited to my particular need for the situation.

i feel like i have sufficiently deconstructed the idea of food and control, and want vs. need, and have started to scratch the surface of what it is that we tend to be hungry FOR, and now, i have the next 8 days -- and you guys -- to help me figure out exactly how to reassemble how i eat and behave around food. so here we go!

New cleanse-related items on tomorrow's agenda to address in my END OF THE WEEK! blog:

• exercise 
• my new menu for next week, and 
• The Trouble with Tribbles. 

(ok, not really that last one. but it popped into my newly-clean mind. what can i say? once a #trekkie, always a #trekkie. you are, after all, at GeekGirlKnows.com, right? :)